Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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