I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
