I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize