Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I just sharted jello shots
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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