yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
