i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
