Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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