we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
