i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize