She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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