i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
pray to the hookup gods
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
