turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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