i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
