Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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