don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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