U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Randomize
