so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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