Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Randomize
