Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
