he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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