Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I love you.
Bad choice
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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