Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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