He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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