it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
