dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Bring me that man meat
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
