you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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