Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
