So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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