gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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