Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
