I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
