i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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