i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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