John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
