we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
