what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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