Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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