so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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