I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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