i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
