everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
