He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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