is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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