your parents love me but you hate me
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize