he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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