Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
