Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
