What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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