I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
