oh god the rape fog is back!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just want to make out with him forever
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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