she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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