Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize