Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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