Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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