Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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