i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
