Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
