i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
