I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
