I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
