I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
