I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
