well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize