i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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