Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
