He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
