Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize
