I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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