TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We just shotgunned beers for America
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
