I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
